Paus. Memorize the bath water. Memorize the moonlight. Memorize the smell of wet concrete after the rain. I don’t know why I don’t try harder.
Try harder to stay connected to what’s in front of me. I got what I wanted. I’m where I need to be right now. But I’m always running ahead. Planning ahead, and trying to fortune tell with little information, believing wholeheartedly that things will be better. For all of us. But having a hard time sourcing out the data that’s messily displayed in front of me. No buckets to label. No deadlines to follow. Things shifting swiftly. Weird goodbyes and new headlines to get upset over.
And everything is constantly picking up speed.
And I’m tired after everything that’s happened. I’m tired. So very tired. And I’m cautiously wondering how long I can keep the pep in my step. For how long I can play along with corporate charades? How long I can pretend? When does a fake smile become permanent? And is this really to be living authentically?
Who knows.
